I could cry...

Just got an e-mail from the woman I thought was "the one", the ideal but expensive child care provider.

She changed her mind. She doesn't want to reduce her rates from $40/day per boy. I simply can't afford that kind of increase. Not only is it $120 to $150 more PER WEEK than I'm currently paying, but it's $60 to $75 more per week than it would cost for a licensed home care or institutional daycare spot. That's a hell of a lot of money.

I can't stand that it's become about the money, but I just don't think I can swing it. If she had been okay with $70/day, we could have barely made it, but an extra $50/week out of my price range is a lot.

Isn't it?

Crap, I just don't know anymore.