Saturday, March 05, 2005


Hey, that's my blog!!!

It's Saturday morning, and I'm trying to read the morning paper and drink my first sacred cup of coffee, but Simon is climbing up my leg and telling me in no uncertain terms that it's time for breakfast. Just as I'm putting the paper aside, having read a scant page and a half, I notice on the cover of the weekend Style section something about mommy blogs. So I put Simon in his highchair and feed him a couple of spoonsful of breakfast, but I'm still thinking about the mommy blog article, so I fold open the paper on the table to read it while I'm feeding Simon.

Hey, I'm thinking, I know these people! The books editor has pulled together 28 excerpts from mommy (and daddy) blogs, one for each day in February. As I'm scanning, I'm nodding and smiling because I've read a lot of this stuff already. There's Jen from MUBAR, and Ann D, and Alice from Finslippy and Suzanne from MotherInChief. There's DC Mom and of course there is Dooce.

So I say to Beloved, "Hey, I know a lot of these people... too bad I didn't -- HEY! THAT'S MY BLOG!!!!" And whadda ya know, there I am, my very first blog entry ever, right there on February 2.

I guess I should say thanks to the Ottawa Citizen for the free publicity, although it would have been nice of them to drop a courtesy note and let me know they'd be publishing me. And if you're dropping by as a result of that article - Hi and welcome! Grab a coffee and stay a while. And drop me a note in the comment box to let me know you were here and what you think, if you please.

Edited to append the article itself, as I like Jen's argument that since the article consists primarily of other people's intellectual property (including mine), I think that it is quite alright to quote the article which quotes me.

Feed. Burp. Change diaper. Blog. The new reality of parenting
New kids on the blog
Susan Allan is the Citizen’s books editor.

We announce the arrival of newborns in pounds, in ounces and, more and more these days, in blogs. We know it’s a trend — a development milestone — because the New York Times deemed it so in a recent report on the approximately 8,500 websites devoted to life after birth. In a recent blog entry, Alice Bradley explained the need for the online chronicles.

“We’re after, I think, some representation of authentic experience that we’re not getting elsewhere. We sure as hell aren’t getting it from the parenting magazines, which provide canned information about vaccines and discipline and baking nutritious muffins that look like kitty cats, but will never help you feel less alone, less stupid, less ridiculous,” she writes at Finslippy (finslippy.typepad.com). “This is the service we try to provide — we share our lopsided, slightly hysterical, often exaggerated but more or less authentic experiences. If one blogger writes about her traumatic doctor’s visit, then maybe at some point, some freaked-out new mother is going to read that and feel a little better — less stupid, less ridiculous — about her own breakdown at the pediatrician’s.”

All that said, here’s an authentic look back at February featuring 28 blogs in 28 days:

Name: Ann Douglas, author and parenting guru Address: anndouglas.blogspot.com Feb. 1: Another reason to let dads pitch in: Researchers have discovered that changing diapers is good for the fatherchild relationship.

Name: DaniGirl, a 35-year-old Ottawa mother of two Address: www.momm-eh.blogspot.com Feb. 2: To blog or not to blog? Does the world really need another soccer-mom wanna-be sending dispatches from suburbia, trying to strike a voice somewhere between Erma Bombeck, Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Cosby, but in the 21st century, not Jewish, not male and not black? And potentially not really funny? Why the hell not.

Name: Brian, 32, writer, poet and father to a three-year-old, a.k.a. The Girl. Address: www.beingdaddy.com Feb. 3: If The Girl, while sitting at the dinner table, excuses herself after farting loudly, but does so while her mouth is still full of food, do I praise her good manners or correct her bad ones?

Name: Christine, 33, “100-per cent, stay-at-home mother” of two boys 4 and 6 Address: christine.typepad.com/usually_frazzled/ Feb. 4: Spent a large part of the morning playing with and then cleaning up our vintage Meccano set. That thing has about a zillion tiny pieces! Took said son for a haircut after that, then wasted a lot of time on the computer in the afternoon while wishing hard (but in vain) that child would nap.

Name: Jessica, wife of Eric, mother of Jake and Nate Address: www.verymom.com Feb. 5: Eric insists on home hair cuts to save money. My poor child now has to walk around looking like someone cut his hair with a Flowbee.

Name: Jenn, 31, mother of Sam Address: inkpen.typepad.com Feb. 6: How do you make an almost three-year-old listen to you? He just averts his gaze, like if he cannot see me, he cannot hear me and that’s that. I am not much of a yeller, to be honest, so I have been practising my “Stern Voice.” Which also makes me laugh.

Name: Janene, mother of Alexa and Luke Address: www.spasticmommyhead.com Feb. 7: I could probably write a whole bunch of stuff, but I don’t have the energy. Lexa was up at 5 a.m. and I’ve been at it ever since, minus the five seconds that I fell asleep on the sofa before she jumped on me and woke me up.

Name: Jen Lawrence, a Toronto mother of Baby Girl, born November 2003 Address: tomama.blogs.com/mubar — MUBAR, as in Mothered Up Beyond All Recognition Feb. 8: Baby Girl is teething. At least I think she’s teething. It’s not like I’m going to reach my fingers into those piranha jaws of hers — I’ve learned that lesson the hard way.

Name: The Munchkin, son of Kira, a 34-year-old, married, slightly neurotic SAHM (Stay-at-Home Mom) to a two-year - old boy.” Address: crankymommy.blogspot.com Feb. 9: Woo Hoo! My kid finally used the potty today ... Crouching on it on all fours on his potty, but it all went in the little bowl. Yay, my little man.

Name: Julia, mother of Patrick Address: julia.typepad.com Feb. 10: Patrick suddenly turned two about five minutes ago, a Capital T, double-barreled Two. The age that is more attitude than a measurement of time and the sort of thing people mean when they shrug apologetically and say, “He’s Two.”

Name: Trixie MacNeill, born July 31, 2003 Address: www.athomedad.com Feb. 11: Trixie is back in daycare today after so far missing three out of eight scheduled days due to stomach problems. … The situation makes me think that there may be a market for daycare sickness insurance … It might sound crazy now, but this time next year we’ll see Superbowl Ads for DaycareHedge.com.

Name: Lori, mother to Zachery, 4, and Kailyn, 3 Address: 2littlemonkeys.
blogdrive.com Feb. 12: I know I’ve been boring!!! There’s just so much going on in my life right now, I haven’t had a chance to update … We got the kids a bunk bed last weekend along with bedding. Zachery got Shark Tale bedding and Kailyn got Princess bedding.

Name: Julie, 33, mother of Charlie Address: www.alittlepregnant.com Feb. 13: When he dropped off my breast a while later and still looked hungry, I investigated the bottle I’d been trying to give him when our peaceful mealtime went to hell. I thought maybe the milk had gone sour, so — I can’t believe I did this, much less that I am confessing it — I put the nipple in my mouth and gave it an experimental suck.

Name: Melissa, mother of Madison and Max Address: www.suburbanbliss.net Feb. 14: About seven years ago, over Valentine’s Day weekend, Logan and I went to the Old Shillelagh and later got unexpectedly pregnant with Madison, just seven months into our marriage. While on the pill. I am terrible at these types of holidays.

Name: Byron a.k.a. Milkbreath il Magnifico, born June 19, 2003 Address: www.webamused.com/milkbreath Feb. 15: This is mostly for my own reference, to remember what he sounds like these days: Pancake more? Hi guys! Down me! Read it. Sausage more? Off it! Please nicely? Nap puppy? Peach more? Fire on? Move it! No kicking! Two minutes! More more?

Name: Suzanne Galante, mother of an almost two-yearold Address: www.motherinchief.com Feb. 16: All our lives we believed that having it all was attainable and worth attaining. Holding onto that notion has been the grown-up equivalent to believing in the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy.

Name: Trixie, mother to Ewan Address:www.distracteddiva.blogspot.com Feb. 17: Ewan has decided that napping is quite out of style, which has made my days quite busy (and my entries here scarce).

Name: Mr. Nice Guy (“My wife is pregnant. I have nothing else to do. Leave me alone.”) Address: bonnehomme.blogspot.com Feb. 18: Every other parent-tobe in this city has their shit repulsively together: One week after finding out wifey is expecting, they’ve enrolled their unborn child in baby yoga and Portuguese lessons. At two months, they’re interviewing at the 92nd Street Y and arranging for the proper shady stock analyses to be issued. At five months they’re banging out the details of their wills, their child’s trust fund, the philanthropic foundation that will bear their baby’s name. At six months, they request applications from Harvard and Yale. You get the picture. Us? Forget even coming close to competing with our type A supermommy Manhattan cohort of genetic mutant freakparents. We don’t have any baby gear yet.

Name: Gerah Dutkiewicz, 26, mother of 18-month-old Kyra A Address: poopandsuits.blogspot.com Feb. 19: Well, I’ve done it. I’ve joined the world of geeks (I say that in the fondest terms) that spend their free time sitting at their computer that they already sit at for way too many hours of the day, writing down their inner most thoughts, then publishing them to the web for the whole world to see. Strange, yes. But, oh well, here I am.

Name: Kelly, 29, mother to Nathan and Austin Address: kelly.typepad.com/kelly/ Feb. 20: Talk about baggage. I recently decided to switch purses, which usually doubles as a great time to get rid of all the crap that gets collected. You have to multitask when you have kids!

Name: Anathea, 27, mother to Maya Address: www.zenlunatic.com Feb. 21: Busy. Exhausted. Crazy. Mommying. Wifing.

Name: Peter John, born June 1, 2002 Address: www.babyblog.co.uk Feb. 22: Today at school I may (or may not) have cut a little bit of my own hair off. Apparently I’ve made a little bare patch, but I can’t see it so I’m not bothered.

Name: D.C. mom Address: elb.typepad.com/ halfchangedworld Feb. 23: There’s a Jewish tradition that you’re supposed to carry a slip of paper with a message in each pocket. On one side, you carry “You were created in God’s image” and on the other side, you carry “You came from dust, and to dust you shall return.” When you get depressed you look at the first, and when you get cocky you look at the second. I think the parenting version of this is that on one side you carry the start of Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care: “Relax. You know more than you think you do,” and on the other side you carry the start of Philip Larkin’s This be the verse: “They f—- you up, your mom and dad/ They may not mean to, but they do.”

Name: Kris, mom to Ben and John, wife to Brian. Pregnant with baby 3. Address: wondermom.blogspot.com Feb. 24: Overall, I give a big thumbs down to pregnancy. But I do love: 10. Parking in the for “for pregnant women” spots. 9. Not being able to do killer workouts. 8. Eating a bowl of ice cream every night. 7. Having a baby that makes no noise and requires no diaper changes or midnight feedings …

Name: Sheryl, mother of Emily, Haley and Will Address: papernapkin.typepad.com Feb. 25: I haven’t posted in almost a week! But I have been travelling through the blogosphere.

Name: Gina, web designer and mother of Amelia Address: www.momblog.com Feb. 26: Guilt descends about how much further Amelia would be if I just spent the time and really sat down, an hour or three, every day, turned off the tube permanently and taught her things like colours and the alphabet, and isn’t she supposed to be spelling her name by now??

Name: Alice Bradley, mother of Henry Address: finslippy.typepad.com Feb. 27: I should post more, but then I don’t post more. I know, I know. It’s just that I’m all over the place these days. I haven’t been able to sit down long enough to figure out what’s on my mind.

Name: Heather B. Armstrong, mother of one-year-old Leta Elise Address: www.dooce.com Feb. 28: Leta has the chicken pox. Sort of. It has to be the worst mild case of chicken pox on record. Her pediatrician said she might get a few bumps from the vaccine, but he didn’t mention the fever or the grumpiness or the fact that it would make me want to run head first into a brick wall. Without a helmet.