Thursday, February 24, 2005


Potty denial

My son will never forgive me for this. I am about to open a discussion of his potty habits on the Internet. I’m sorry Tristan, I truly am.

I’ve been doing my best to avoid the whole potty-training angst thing. Yes, I know he will probably have his bladder well under control by the time he heads off to college. And yet, despite my best efforts to the contrary, I find myself succumbing to potty peer pressure by proxy. His little girl playmates have long since made the move to underwear, and even most of his little boy playmates can now write their names in the snow or at least play a good game of “shoot the Cheerios in the bowl.” (No, not that kind of bowl. Ewwww!) It’s not like he hasn’t used the potty yet – he’s even managed the oft-elusive poop in the potty on more than one occasion. But we are nowhere near moving to pull-ups and (imagine the day!) regular underwear.

Truth be told, I’m afraid parental denial over the whole potty thing is what has derailed us. I’m beginning to suspect that Tristan has long been ready to make the transition, but lacking any real guidance from management he has been content with the status quo. It falls upon our shoulders, Beloved and I, to take the lead and hurl us forward into life beyond diapers.

It’s just that a world without diapers is so – so – so dreadfully messy and inconvenient. On top of having to remember to feed the boys and dress them and not leave them behind when we go places, now we have to remember to ask every half hour or so if Tristan needs to go (let alone having to trust his judgement.) The punishment for not remembering to ask is pretty effective, granted, but I know me, and I am nothing if not forgetful. Before it gets better it must get messy, and even after all these years, I still have not gotten over my aversion to bodily fluids, especially when not neatly contained by several layers of plastic and absorbent paper.

Do you think if I just ignored the whole thing he will eventually train himself? If I just wait him out, surely one day Tristan will wander into the bathroom, discard his diaper, hop up on the toilet seat and VOILA be trained. Just like that! Don’t laugh, it could happen. (pouting) It could!