Wednesday, March 02, 2005


A little cheese with that?

Today, we whine. Consider yourself warned. If you're not in the mood for it (and I certainly don't blame you), move along and we'll see you again in a few days when I've gotten over myself. But today, we whine. We whine because I am tired and grumpy and in just a bit of a state and it's my damn blog and if you don't like it stop reading then. See, just a little bit cranky.

We are whining because I am so very sick of having to be responsible all the time, to be careful, to be cognizant, to have to keep impulses under control and be mindful of the bottom line and think of the consequences of my actions. (Hmmm, maybe this is my inner 14 year old having a rebellious day? In reading this, it sounds like what I want to be is a teenager.) I'm so very tired of being on the run all the time, hurrying to get to work, to get my work done, to make it to the bus on time, to get home, to get dinner ready, to get the kitchen cleaned and spend some 'quality time' (gag) with the kids, balancing my guilt for not being with them all day with my desperate desire to get them into bed so I can just stop moving for a few minutes. My life is a freakin' treadmill powered by guilt.

Another thing that has me royally pissed is that I've gained SIX pounds since I started back to work. SIX! There should be a rule, if you are feeling really stressed you should be able to self-medicate with chips and cokes and oreos and not gain weight. So not only do I have to watch what I eat, but now I have to find some time to exercise to halt and reverse this unseemly trend.

There is a gym in the mall I walk through to get to work, but even if I did commit to getting up an hour earlier a couple of times a week to work out (which, while it pains me to lose more sleep, has a certain appeal as I do miss regular workouts in my life) I don't think we have room in the budget for a gym membership.

So there's not enough time, not enough sleep, not enough money and too many calories. I think that about covers it.

(If you're still here, thanks for reading this far. I feel better now. Come back tomorrow and we'll have a nice civilized discussion about preschooler idiosyncracies and the wonders of Google . I'm going to hide under my desk and and drink my coffee and pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist for a little while.)