Monday, March 14, 2005


Revenge of the bus

I'm sorry, bus people. Are you listening? I take it back. I didn't mean to criticize the great, powerful and all-knowing bus people.

If you hear nothing else I ever tell you, hear this: don't mess with the bus people. When they say revenge is a dish best served cold, they mean it. As in leaving you stranded at the bus stop in pre-dawn subzero temperatures waiting, waiting, waiting, while your legs, protected only by the thinnest filament of nylon and the shortest skirt you own, slowly begin to lose all sensation as you freeze from the bottom up. Coincidence? I think not.

Taking the bus is the highlight of my day, and any decision the bus people make as to how to schedule services is the right choice. I can't imagine a day without bus. The bus people are benevolent and indulgent. I am nothing.

They will say that bus service was reduced for March Break, but I know better. They saw my letter, and it pissed them off. So they took revenge, not only on me but on an entire suburb, by cutting service this morning. That's just how they are.

You were right, oh mighty and omniscient bus people, to mete out such a carefully considered punishment for my transgressions. It is a long, long ride in from Barrhaven to downtown when you are standing in the aisle, and I had plenty - PLENTY - of time to repent for my sins.

I think I'd better lay low for a while, lest they really hit me where it hurts and mess with the service to get home again in the afternoon. Commuters of the world, unite -but do it quietly, so the bus people won't hear you!