Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Two people, one bed

I don't mind sharing things. We have one car, and one cell phone, neither one of which I mind terribly not having exclusively to myself. We have one TV, and one computer. I share a lot of food - if it's not the preschoolers hungrily eyeballing my sandwich, it's Katie the dog. In general, I'm fine with sharing just about everything.

You know what I don't like to share? My bed.

I love my bed. The winter flannels are a rich burgundy, thick and warm. The summer sheets are a soft navy cotton that holds just the right amount of coolness to keep them feeling fresh. Every night as I pull the covers up to my chin, I am grateful for my bed.

Who's idea was it that when you get married, you forever give up your right to sleep in your own space? I mean, sure, there are times when it's nice to huddle in the warm aura around the person you love most in the world. But when the person you love most in the world is snoring like a trash compactor or twitching like an angry marionette, a bed of your own doesn't seem like too much to ask for.

The boys each get a room of their own, why can't I have one too? Hell, I'm the one paying the bills.

For most of the last couple of years, I've been spoiled. About the time I was six months pregnant with Simon, Beloved decided that the spare bed was a good place to spend the night. (I felt like 300 lbs of cranky water retention, my internal thermostat was toxic with hormones and I had restless legs. I wouldn't have wanted to sleep with me either.) After Simon was born, Beloved stayed out of the room to avoid the commotion of nightly feedings on the half hour. Only when Simon was around 16 months old and sleeping more often than not through the night did Beloved find his way back into our bed at night.

Problem is, I got kind of used to having the whole bed to myself. I don't want to share. It's MINE!

Unless we start building additions in the attic, a room of my own just isn't going to happen. I have, however, been seriously toying with the idea of two beds in the master bedroom. It's plenty big enough - I think the bedroom is bigger than our living room, and most of the space is just open floor right now. We could probably comfortably fit a whole extra double bed in there and still have room to spare.

Is it weird that I spend so much time thinking about this?

I mean, if we get separate beds, do they have to match? Would we have to buy coordinating headboards? Should we get the same bedding for both, or complimentary bedding? What if we got a couple of twin beds and a king size comforter, then we could just push them together in the morning to look like one big bed for when company comes over.

Would the kids get teased on the playground because one day they let it slip that mommy has a bed and daddy has a bed and ne'er the two shall meet?

When I was a kid, I remember my grandparents had separate beds. Do I have to wait that long? Surely I'm not the only one who covets her own covers at night.