Haunted by my past

I just picked up the mail. I was pleased to see the baptismal certificate I requested last week had arrived - until I opened it up.

Yep, there's all the details of my religious origins - baptized into the Church on 31 August 1969, as witnessed by my sweet aunt and my mother's cousin, who went on to do jail time in Florida and Britain for, among other things, bilking his own mother of her life savings.

And there, at the bottom, under "Other Notations":
Confirmed, 21 October 1982, St Pius X Church and
(ack!)
Married, 19 August 1989.

Hey, it was just a practise marriage. Nobody told me it would be on my permanent record!