How to get free stuff

A guy named Tom Locke was paying his bills one day, putting stamps on his stack of paid bills, when he looked at a $39 roll of unopened stamps (man, how much to American stamps cost anyway?) and thought to himself that $39 doesn’t get you much these days.

Then he began to wonder just what you could get for $39, or more particularly, how much FREE stuff you could get with $39 worth of stamps and a sense of humour.

The result is The $39 Experiment: Asking Companies for Free Stuff – and it’s hilarious! He wrote to 100 companies and asked for free stuff, and is keeping a running tab of their responses.

His letters are priceless. To Subway, he writes:

Dear Sir or Madam:I'm just writing to you to tell you that I hate Quiznos, and I hate that freaky sock puppet they used to have singing on their commercials. Just what I want – an ugly, mentally disturbed corporate mascot. Anyway, I eat Subway for lunch all the time. I love the roast chicken breast. Can I get some freebies? Free subs? Free chips? Free anything? If you're feeling generous, I'll take a free party sub. I don't have a ton of friends, but that won't stop me
from eating it! Thanks for everything!
Tom Locke, Subway enthusiast

To Quiznos, he writes:

Dear Sir or Madam:I'm just writing to you to tell you that I hate Subway. I hate Jared. He annoys me. So some fat guy lost a bunch of weight. Who cares? Doesn't make their nasty, flavorless subs taste any different. Anyway, I love your Classic Italian. I put banana peppers on it to top it off. I usually get that chicken corn chowder soup, a mini chocolate bundt cake, and a bottle of water to finish the meal. Your food quite simply rocks. Can I get something free? Sandwiches, soups, coupons, shirts? Whatever you got. I love the freebies! Thanks for everything!
Tom Locke, Quiznos enthusiast

No response from either company yet. But he has received free lip balm from Burt’s Bees, coupons from Pfizer, and free pens and stickers from Pepsi.

I don’t know whether it’s because I’ve spent years in customer service, or just because I love free stuff, but I think this is the funniest thing I’ve seen in ages!