Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Adding insult to injury

Warning: this will not be a pretty post. You don't have to read it, but I have to write it. I'm sorry.

I wish this could all just be over. If I can't have it back, I at least wish it would hurry up and be done.

They've scheduled my D&C for 3 pm today. They forgot to call me, and only when I called the hospital at 8:30 last night did I get the details. I haven't been allowed anything to eat or drink since midnight, and I'm starving already. Wouldn't it have been nice if it were first thing in the morning or something? No such luck.

I have the kind of wicked bad cold I only get every couple of years. I'm terrified that they will take one look at me and send me home. After all, it's not like it matters to the baby, right? I asked the person I spoke to last night about it, and she said since I haven't had a fever or cough, I should be okay. Except I started coughing during the night. The anaethestic is gas, not intravenous, and I'm afraid the cold will somehow interfere with it.

I had to take some sort of medication last night to 'make the D&C easier,' in the words of my OB. I was supposed to take it at bedtime last night, but the person at the hospital clucked in alarm at the thought of me going from bedtime to 3 pm with the cramping and possible bleeding it would cause and instead told me to take it when I woke up this morning. So far, I've got no real cramps or anything, but I'm getting stiff for being afraid to move.

My mouth is so dry from mouth-breathing all night that I can't stand it - and I can't even drink water. Only six more hours to wait.

At least all of that is distracting me from the actual idea of what they are going to do this afternoon. I'm trying very, very hard not to think about that part. When I told the woman at the hospital I was 14 weeks along, she clucked again and revised my recovery time at the hospital from an hour to several hours. I think that's when I started to cry.

I just want this to be done.