It's over - a miscarriage
Except she couldn't find it, and so we went to the ultrasound rooms on the other side of the clinic. I was still cracking jokes and cheerful - I just figured the baby was being stubborn.
She took two pictures, left and came back with an ultrasound tech. There was no heartbeat. The baby measures 14 weeks, but I should have been 16 weeks tomorrow. The very kind tech told me she could find no abnormalities, no reason the baby didn't survive. Just one of those things, I guess.
I have a d & c scheduled for Wednesday. I haven't been through something like this, so it's a little bit scary - but better than the alternative of waiting for nature to take its cruel course.
It's over. Four pregnancies, three lost souls. I thought by writing this down, it would snap me out of this bad dream, but it seems this is really happening.