Wednesday, November 22, 2006


Thank you

I'm overwhelmed by your collective kindness. Beloved and I and even my mother are simply in awe of your support, of how many of you have taken the time to offer support, share your experiences, or just send a word of condolence. Thank you simply doesn't cover it.

Physically, I'm doing surprisingly well. (You would think, wouldn't you, that by now I would learn to stop calling down the gods like that.) The D&C was far less painful, far less scary, far less awful than I expected it would be. There was a few bad moments when they started speculating about cancelling the procedure after I had been in pre-op for an hour because I had a low-grade fever, but not only did they go ahead but they somehow bumped up the procedure, so I was in the recovery room eating tea and toast by the time I was originally supposed to go into the OR.

The only other bad moment was when they wheeled me into the OR, and I got it into my head that I should say goodbye to the baby. Of course, I started crying, and once I got started, I couldn't stop. The harder I tried to stop, the harder I cried. The medical team were amazingly compasionate, which of course made me cry all the harder, until I was hitching sobs by the time they got the oxygen mask on my face. The very kind anesthesiologist kept telling me to just hold on for a few more seconds, and they'd put me to sleep. I even woke up crying. What a mess.

Now, though, safe at home with my boys, we're all doing better than I expected. I have a day to myself tomorrow, and Beloved has not only picked up a couple of DVDs for me so I don't have to suffer bad daytime TV, but has also stocked the fridge and cupboards with my favourite snacks. Great minds think alike - my mom, who picked me up from the hospital, came equipped with a shopping bag full of books and Doritos.

I have good people in my life... and by that I mean those closest to me, but also all of you. I can't even begin to tell you how soothing your words have been to us. I am genuinely overwhelmed - touched, honoured, and overwhelmed - by your outpouring of support and affection. It has made all the difference in the world.

Thank you.